Putt with Honorable Mentions Transcript

Transcript for Putt With Honorable Mentions
(Scene: The miniature golf course. A windmill, brown dinosaur, and pirate ship are situated across the field.)

Narrator: Well, here we are at the 57th annual 18-hole miniature golf tournament at Henry J. Waternoose's Mini Golf Super Universe...

(Victoria Best puts his ball in a hole as Becky, Bob, Johnson and Patrick watch. Johnson is acting as TJ's caddy, and Bob has a camera.)

Victoria Best: Whoo, whoo, whoo! Yeah! I'm winning! I'm winning! I'll do a winner's dance! Because I'm the winner! (does a victory dance)

Patrick Starfish: TJ, you have the lowest score on the leaderboard.

Becky: Patrick, that's the way golf works. The lowest score wins. The fewer shots it takes to get the ball in the hole, the better.

Victoria Best: And now for part 666 of my Distraction Dance! (continues dancing as people takes pictures and notes)

Patrick: Okay, but why is being first on the leaderboard such a big deal?

Vanesa: (now in a golf cart with Reginald, Becky and Mrs Heaslip) Do you really mean to tell me you have no idea how superfantastic this is? Step inside. I'll explain while we drive. (Bob and Patrick jump into the cart. Vanesa drives for a few feet, then stops.) And we're here. Welcome to the Henry Waternoose's Miniature Golf Super Universe hall of fame, fortune, and a lifetime supply of tummy yummies. (Picture frames full of photographs of young children line the cliffside. At the bottom of the cliffside is TJ, with Johnson holding a picture frame in front of his face.) 56 faces of super golf glory, and I'm gonna be 57.

Patrick: (as Bob takes pictures of the cliff) I guess it would be kind of cool to have your photo on this wall permanently.

Vanesa: It's not just the photo, dude. There's more. Way... way... waaaaaaaaay much more.

(TJ and Johnson look into the distance, where a boy in golfer gear wearing a jetpack is being served a huge bowl of ice cream.)

Narrator: Ladies and gentlemen, last year's Youtube Poop making champion, Roscoe McGillicuddy.

(Putt Putt takes out a golf club and swings at a ball. It flies into the distance and clunks into the hole.)

Announcer: Hole in one!

(The crowd cheers as Becky looks on in awe.)

Becky: Oh... So much fame... Attention... (Bob squeaks happily.) Yes, Bob. And ice cream... TJ, I want to enter the tournament!

TJ: Well, you can enter, but you won't win. I'm unstoppable!

(He tries to drive away, but his golf cart gets stuck on a rock. Johnson attempts to push it to no avail.)

Becky: Need any help there?

TJ: No thanks, I got this.

(Becky and Bob walk up to the registration booth, where Mr. Needlemeyer is handing out clubs and balls together with his pet chipmunk.)

Becky: Oh, looks like we just made it.

Eileen the Birthday Girl pops up in front of Becky.)

Eileen: Mr. Needlemeyer, I'm gonna win, 'cause today's my birthday!

Becky: Oh no, Eileen's here!

Eileen: (takes a golf club) I always win on my birthday.

Becky: Maybe she won't see us.

Eileen: (pops up between them) Becky-Wecky!

Becky: Hi, Eileen...

Eileen: You won't beat me today. It's not your birthday!

(Becky sighs, and she and Bob walk up to the registration booth.)

Mr. Needlemeyer: Name.

Becky: Becky Botsford.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Botsford? We have another Botsford in this tournament. Starting a bit of sibling rivalry with the freckle-faced one, are you?

Becky: (laughs nervously) Maybe. Plus, I'd like to be on your hall of fame.

Mr. Needlemeyer: (laughs) Yes, but do you have what it takes? Not just the knowledge, the agility, but the pride and honor of the game?

Becky: Uh...

(A boy cuts in front of Becky. He has short blond hair and wears a white hat with white pants, a black belt, and a blue vest over a white undershirt.)

Boy: Woo-hoo! 42! Mr. Needlemeyer, check it out! (slides a scorecard towards Mr. Needlemeyer) I take the lead from that TJ kid. Well, if it isn't my little ol' lucky day.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Well, Mr... (reads the scorecard) Lynx Forrest. The game of miniature golf may be full of windmills, castles, and teeny-tiny pencils, but it's not one to be taken lightly. No one watches you while you play in this tournament, so it's all about (voice echoes) honor! We must rely on the inner watcher in each of us. (holds up the scorecard) If you cheat and don't write down the exact number of times you hit the ball, you don't cheat the game of golf. You only cheat yourself. Honor, boy!

Lynx: (shaking) Well, I...

Mr. Needlemeyer: Wait. I take that back. You also cheat the game of golf. Let your inner watcher be your guide!

Lynx: (gets down on his knees) I'm sorry, Mr. Needlemeyer! I cheated! (starts to cry) I cheated!

Mr. Needlemeyer: Bogey, you know what to do.

(The chipmunk takes a bite out of the scorecard.)

Lynx: (crying) I cheated, I cheated! (falls to the ground)

Becky: Wow, this game is intense.

Mr. Needlemeyer: You're the last entry in this tournament, Becky Botsford. I hope you have the-- Incoming!

(Everyone ducks right before a golf ball bounces off the wall behind them.)

Becky: Yipe!

Eileen: Sorry!

(Mr. Needlemeyer slaps his hand to his face and mutters to himself.)

(Scene: The playing field. Eileen manually places her ball in the hole.)

Eileen: And boop. (writes on her scorecard) One.

Becky: One?! Eileen, didn't you hear Mr. Needlemeyer?

Eileen: Did he say I'm going to win because it's my birthday?

Becky: He said that cheating isn't allowed because this tournament is about (imitating Mr. Needlemeyer) honor!

Eileen: A "tournament"?

Becky: A tournament is a contest where several people play against each other in a game, and at the game, out of everyone who played, there is only one winner. TJ's the leader of this tournament right now.

(TJ putts a ball at a different hole. Bob snaps pictures.)

Eileen: He is? Not for long...

(Eileen is at a new hole concentrating on the game. She slowly putts the ball towards the hole.)

Eileen: Putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt, putt... putt. (The ball falls into the hole. She pulls out her scorecard and writes down her score.) Two.

Becky: (screams in frustration) Bob, I am not going to let that cheater win the tournament. I'm going to win the tournament by playing the best game of miniature golf I've ever played!

(A montage begins. At a new hole, Eileen hits her ball into a stream. She storms off. Becky hits her ball towards the hole, but Eileen stands in the way, deflecting it. Eileen dumps a bucket of balls and kicks one into the hole. She checks off her scorecard. Eileen then putts her ball up a small volcano, but it slides down the sides. As Becky moves to putt, a giant foot stomps on the volcano and places a ball inside the hole on the other side. Next, Becky prepares to hit the ball at a course with crushers, a windmill, and a moving hole. Eileen looks at the hole, then simply walks away without even trying, checking off her scorecard.)

(At the registration booth, Eileen hands her scorecard to Mr. Needlemeyer.)

Eileen: Here you go, Mr. Needlemeyer.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Did you cheat? Because if you cheat, you don't just cheat the game of golf. You also cheat--

Eileen: My score is 42. I'm the winner.

(The word "winner" echoes and can be heard throughout the course, including by TJ and Johnson.)

TJ: Aw, no way!

(TJ drives his cart away, revealing Becky and Bob behind him. Bob squeaks something to Becky.)

Becky: I know! She's lying! But if I concentrate, I'll make a 41 and beat Eileen. So even though TJ will still lose, at least a Botsford will win the tournament, right? (Bob gives her a disappointed squeak as Becky takes aim for her next hole.) This is going to be a tricky shot.

Narrator: While Becky lines up this shot, we're all holding out breath, hoping that she--

Becky: Uh, I really need to concentrate.

Narrator: Oh, okay. But, uh, what does concentrate mean? (laughs nervously) Oh, you know what? Nevermind. I've got a dictionary right here. (starts flipping through pages) Let's see. Concentrate...

Becky: You know what? Just let me do it, okay? To concentrate means to think really hard about something, so hard that you don't even notice other things going on around you.

Narrator: Great. You go ahead and concentrate on hitting that shot perfectly.

Becky: Okay...

(Becky takes aim again, then putts the ball. It stops right before the hole.)

Becky: No! Ugh! This means I'm tied with Eileen, and I'll have to share a spot on the wall with that cheater. Unless...

(She flies around the hole. The wave of motion causes the ball to fall into the hole. Bob looks on in horror. Becky writes down her score on the card.)

(Scene: The registration booth. Mr. Needlemeyer is looking over Becky's scorecard.)

Mr. Needlemeyer: A 41? Bogey and I have never seen a 41 in all the tournaments ever.

Becky: (nervously) Well, now you've seen one.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Well, remember, Becky Botsford, no one watches you while you play in this tournament. If you're not honest, if you have no honor, you spit in the eye of miniature golf, and you spit in the eye of Patrick Needlemeyer.

(Becky looks nervous, but says nothing.)

Patrick: (cheerfully) Very good then. I declare Becky Botsford the winner!

(Everyone on the course cheers. TJ drives up to Becky in his golf cart.)

TJ: (sadly) Congratulations, Becky.

Becky: (holds up the trophy) Hey, at least a Botsford won, right?

TJ: Yeah, I guess.

Eileen: (from off-screen) Where's Becky?!

Becky: Uh-oh.

Eileen: That trophy is mine! (starts to grow giant) Mine! Mine!

(Becky, Bob, TJ, and Johnson flee from Eileen. Becky throws the trophy away, and Bob catches it, causing Eileen to chase him. She sees him hiding on a statue and prepares to punch it, but WordGirl flies in and stops her fist.)

WordGirl: Hold it right there, Birthday Girl!

Eileen: Out of my way, WordGirl! My trophy!

WordGirl: No, you cheated. It's Becky Botsford's trophy. Well, it's a Botsford's trophy. I mean, it's kind of complicated the way it works--

Eileen: (flicks WordGirl away) Stop talking so much, WordGirl! I can't concentrate! Mr. Needlemeyer! Tear down that photo of Becky and put my photo up!

Mr. Needlemeyer: Never!

Eileen: But it's my birthday!

Mr. Needlemeyer: This tournament doesn't care if it's your birthday! I couldn't look at myself in the mirror if I allowed a cheater to win the ultimate prize! I'd sooner sell Bogey!

(Captain Huggy Face pulls WordGirl out of a hole.)

WordGirl: He's right. How can I enjoy my victory knowing that I cheated? This is one problem only Becky can fix.

(WordGirl flies off with Captain Huggy Face. Eileen prepares to grab Mr. Needlemeyer, but WordGirl stops her, then flies away again.)

Eileen: Get back here, WordGirl!

(A second later, Becky runs up to the two.)

Becky: Mr. Needlemeyer, Eileen is right! She had the lowest score! (The crowd grasps, and Mr. Needlemeyer looks sternly at Becky.) Mr. Needlemeyer, I didn't win your tournament fair and square. On the last hole, I took four shots, but I only marked down three.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Becky Botsford, you're disqualified. Eileen, you're the winner!

Eileen: (gasps happily and starts to shrink) Ooh!

TJ: I can't believe my own sister would cheat just to rob me of a victory.

Becky: TJ, I didn't want to take the victory from you, but Eileen was already cheating, and I wanted to keep her from winning.

TJ: But then I still would've lost to a cheater. (drives away)

Becky: Huh. Right.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Well, young lady. I hope you've learned a lesson today.

Becky: I have. But Mr. Needlemeyer, I think you should know Eileen also cheated.

Mr. Needlemeyer: (scoffs) Bitter grapes from a loser. Unless you have proof.

Becky: (sighs) No, I don't.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Then why should I trust anything you have to say, you saddle-shoe-wearing cheater?

Becky: I like these shoes.

Eileen: Mr. Needlemeyer, time to put my picture on the wall.

Mr. Needlemeyer: Eileen, Patrick Needlemeyer's Miniature Golf Super Universe proclaims you the winner of the 56th annual tournament, and your face shall hang on our hall of fame forever and-- (Bogey takes down Becky's photo from the wall and prepares to hang up Eileen's photo, only for Bob to stop him and put up a picture of Eileen placing a ball into a hole.) Just a minute.

Eileen: (gasps) How did that get there?! (Eileen knocks down the photo, only for Bob to replace it with another one of Eileen pouring a bucketful of golf balls on a hole. The crowd gasps.) No! (She continues to knock down photos as Bob continues to replace them with more photos of her cheating.) No! (starts to grow again)

Mr. Needlemeyer: So much for that then.

Eileen: You shouldn't have done that! That makes me mad. (continues to grow) Really, really mad!

Becky: Uh-oh. Word u--

Mr. Needlemeyer: (holds out a ribbon) Here. Even disqualified cheaters get a participation ribbon.

Eileen: (gasps) A participation ribbon? On my birthday?! Oh, I am the bestest participant ever!

(Eileen takes the ribbon from Mr. Needlemeyer, and he walks up to TJ.)

Mr. Needlemeyer: And now the real winner of the tournament. TJ Botsford, I proclaim you the honest and only true victor!

TJ: Only true victor... Woo-hoo! Winner's dance! (starts to dance) Thank you, thank you.

(TJ blows kisses everywhere, and an ice cream man walks up to him with a huge bowl of ice cream. People start snapping pictures of him while Putt Putt flies around with his jetpack in the background. Meanwhile, Bogey places TJ's picture on the wall while Eileen sits on a nearby rock, admiring her ribbon.)

Narrator: And so, as we leave behind the tournament of windmills, castles, and teeny-tiny pencils, we ask you to tune in next time and concentrate along with your inner watcher for another honest episode of WordGirl!

(Putt Putt hovers overhead with his jetpack, dancing.)

TJ: Okay, Putt Putt, that's enough.