Wordgirl: The Wrong side of Law part 5 and 6 transcript

PART 5
Narrator: It’s a beautiful day in the city. Why? It’s the grand opening of the My Little Pony Wonderland Workshop, where a priceless set of figurines is on display. Kids are lined up with their sisters (and brothers), ready to buy merchandise from their favorite show!

Derpy Hooves: The My Little Pony merchandise!

(Reginald, the jewelry store clerk, walks up to the pony.)

Reginald: Our policy here is no singing. So remain quiet if you wish to see the figurines.

(The pony flies away from him. Reginald turns toward Patrick.)

Reginald: Please stand to the side, and try not to drool.

(Patrick wipes his mouth and steps back. Reginald sprays his hands with a bottle of sanitizer, and stands beside a pedestal surrounded by ropes. On the pedestal, there is something covered by a cloth.)

Reginald: Makka Pakka? Now.

(Makka Pakka begins blowing his trumpet. Everyone stares in awe.)

Reginald: The time has arrived. I shall now unveil the handmade, special edition, priceless collector set of My Little Pony figurines. Generously on loan from MY jewelry shop! Ta-DA!

(He pulls off the cloth, revealing six beautiful figurines of characters from the MLP series.)

Reginald. You’re welcome. (clears throat) As I said, they are priceless. Which means, they are so valuable that you cannot put a price on them, so these figurines are not for sale. I have simply been hired by the proprietors of the-- “My Little Pony Wonderland Workshop” --to display them. Okay? After that, I will return the items to my jewelry store, far away from riff-raff like...

(He starts pointing at individuals in the room, then ends up making a sweeping movement with his outstretched hand.)

Reginald: ...well, riff-raff like all of you. You’re all-- riff-raff.

Star-shirted girl: I love Pretty Princess! Can I play with one?

Reginald: No.

Star-shirted girl: But... I always get what I want. And I want them. (starts growing) Mine! Mine! Mine!

(Becky and Violet appear)

Becky: Did she...?

Violet: Uh oh...

Star-shirted girl: I want them fig--- (sees Bob and gasps) Monkey! (Bob hides behind Becky.) Ooh, little monkey, you're so precious-wecious! Can I hold you?

(She approaches the display. Reginald restrains her by placing his hand on her head. Her father pulls her away from the display.)

Reginald: (clearing his throat) Silly, unkempt child, these are figurines, which are better than "Monkey-Wonkey". They are not for playing, they are to be examined and admired. See how fun it is just to look at them and NOT touch them? (brief pause) Look, see how much fun we’re having?

(The crowd walks away. Reginald turns to the figurines and begins singing to himself.)

Reginald: (to the tune of the "My Little Pony" theme song) La-da-da-da-da---

(His song is interrupted by the sound of heavy footsteps approaching.)

Reginald: ...Oh, dear...

Mysterious Voice: MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE!...

(He glances up briefly, then faints as he hears an echoing whiny voice. The screen then goes black.)

Narrator: Back at Wordgirl's secret spaceship lair, our heroes, the Powerpuff Girls, are hard at work examining the evidence.

(Scene: Inside WordGirl’s secret spaceship hideout. Bubbles is seen holding up an Eileen doll and staring intently at it.)

Bubbles: Don’t worry, Eileen, I’ll have you back with the rest of your bestest-westest fwiends in no time!

(We then see that she is lying on sprawled out on the rug in her spaceship hideout, playing with the figurine like a doll.)

Bubbles: (roleplaying Eileen in a high-pitched voice) Thanks Bubbles! You’re my bestest fwiend ever!

Buttercup: Aw c’mon, you don’t mean that.

Bubbles [as Eileen]: Yes I do! All the earth ponies say so!

Blossom: (clearing throat) Examine the evidence!

(Bliss flies over to her crime computer where Me is going through possible suspects on the screen.)

Bliss: No-no more messing around, Me.

(Me chatters at her.)

Bliss: When you’re trying to catch a villain, every moment is priceless!

(She hugs the joystick. Me stops and looks over at her and nods.)

Bliss: Let’s just check this dohickey for fingerprints and see if we can...

(She again looks adoringly at the pony. Buttercup covers his face with her hand and cringes at Bliss. Suddenly a button on the console starts blinking.)

Bliss: (gasps) Wait a minute, we’re getting a call from Eileen!

(Me presses the button, she realizes she is still holding the joystick.)

Bliss: Uh-oh...

(Eileen appears on the monitor, and Bliss has an accusing look on her face.)

Eileen: Hello!

'Powerpuff Girls:  OH NO!!! '

Eileen: My name is Eileen, and today is my birthday. I'm ten years old!

(Reginald walks behind him.)

Reginald: I keep hearing that voice... (breaks down in tears) ...echoing... Mine... Mine... Mine!

Calin: Did he...?

Victoria Best: Uh-huh.

(Eileen offers him a cup of coffee and he walks off.)

Blossom: Did you hear that, girls? I think I know exactly who we’re looking for. (to the commissioner) Not to worry, sir, I have information that the villain is a young girl between eight and ten, with super strength, who loves My Little Pony. (chuckles, snorts) But really, who doesn’t? (clears throat) And she also yelled, “Mine, mine mine!” when she committed the crime. That’s a perfect match for Eileen!

Eileen: (gasps) Me?

Buttercup: Yes, Eileen.

Eileen: But it’s my birthday!

(Everyone around her smiles at her.)

Everyone: Awww!

Man: Not on her birthday!

Blossom: Don’t worry everyone, this will just take a moment.

Eileen: Oh no you don’t! (runs toward the screen to hug it, hugs screen) You’re not doing anything! We’re gonna be buddies forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and...

Woman: (interrupting Eileen and looking towards the Queen of Fair City) Your Majesty, I call to the stand Reginald, the jewelry store clerk!

(Reginald, still wearing the shawl from earlier, stands up and goes to the table. Bubbles whispers something in Latin to Bliss.)

Princess Celestia: Reginald, you were in charge of the dolls, correct?

Reginald: (sighs) Yes, I placed those poor innocent My Little Pony figurines in the display case, and then I told everyone, “Look but don’t touch.” But someone not only touched-- she TOOK! That fiend took them all, even the littlest dearest Magic Pony, Twilight Sparkle! Oh, Little Twilight Sparkle-- why would someone take her?

Princess Celestia: Reginald, did you see the girl who stole all those dolls?

Reginald: No. It happened so fast that I didn’t, but I did hear that little girl’s voice. (starts banging hand on table while yelling, with each yell, he starts growing and turning green while his voice echos and adds more pitch) “Mine! Mine! Mine!” Oh, dear! (Stands up and points toward Buttercup) Why did you do it, you monster??

Buttercup: I object. Reginald said he didn’t SEE the girl who stole the dolls. So it’s unfair for him to say it was ME!

Princess Celestia: Buttercup, that is a very, VERY excellent objection.

Reginald: I’m sorry Butter, I-- I’m just so upset. Those Ponies trusted me, and I let them down. I don’t deserve to run a jewelry store! (sobbing) I’M the monster! Oh no!

(everyone panics as large footsteps start to get closer to Reginald.)

Reginald: ...Oh, dear...

(He glances up briefly, then faints as he hears an echoing whiny voice while the video breaks up. Me has pressed another button after he sees Bliss once again fondling the pony figurine again. She looks at Me.)

Bubbles: Five more min--?

(Me, Buttercup and Blossom chastises her and Bliss.)

Bubbles and Bliss: Oh, fine.

Narrator: Later, at the home of the Birthday Girl...

(Scene: Eileen’s home, on a dark and stormy night. The police are gathered at the entrance. A helicopter flies by, with searchlights aimed at the house.)

Officer: We’ve got the place surrounded, sir.

Commissioner: Great! Now all we have to do is wait for--

(A pink, blue, green and purple streak of light approaches, and the Powerpuff girls land next to the commissioner.)

Powerpuff Girls: --Us?

Commissioner: Exactly. (Looking surprised) Ooh! Well. Okay then. Let’s do this.

(He walks toward the front door of the house.)

Commissioner: Everybody ready? Alright. One-- two---two in a half..--THREE!

(The door flies open and the police enter, along with The Powerpuff Girls. On the table is a birthday cake and some tea cups.)

Eileen: (offscreen) Hello, guys. I've been expecting you. Commissioner Watson, you're under arrest!

Commissioner: WHAT? No, you don’t understand!

(The scene changes to the back seat of the squad car outside, where Commissioner Watson is sitting.)

Narrator: I don’t understand! This isn’t how things usually end! But-- I’ll go with it.

(The door slams shut, and Mr. Botsford’s reflection can be seen in the window. He signals the driver to take her away.)

Narrator: Will the police find the other priceless figurines? Will Commissioner Watson end up examining the inside of a jail cell? Will this be the first unhappy ending ever? Find out on another exciting, colossal adventure of-- WordGirl.

(For the final scene of part 5, Eileen stands outside her house as the car drives off. Then she can be seen with an evil grin as a very, very, very faint cursed image of Pinkie Pie can be seen on the screen.)

PART 6
Narrator: Previously, on The Amazing Colossal Adventures of WordGirl…

(Scene: A jail cell. Commissioner Watson is doing pull-ups on the bars.)

Commissioner Watson: Why don’t you just tell everyone what happened, and why I’m in jail?

Narrator: Everything?

Commissioner Watson: Yes, everything.

Narrator: Okay, here’s what happened…

(As the narrator speaks, black-and-white images from Parts 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5 are shown on the screen.)

Narrator: Reginald, the jewelry store owner, put out some priceless Pretty Princess Magic Pony Power Hour figurines. Everyone wanted to get their hands on them. And then, someone did! WordGirl tried to figure out who stole the dolls, so she went to the scene of the crime and examined the evidence. But when the police caught her with one of the dolls, they assumed that she was the one who stole them, so they put WordGirl in jail, but Wordgirl tried to convince the Warden she wasn't guilty and they did a trial. First Reginald was on the witness stand talking and saying "Mine, mine, mine" and stuff, then Wordgirl questioned Eileen to see if she was guilty, then Eileen took Mrs. Botsford away and Wordgirl saved her, and they re-opened the store and the police went to Pinkie's house for a tea party and a stranger (who was actually Tinky Tank) took Wordgirl to jail  again  and did another trial and this time WORDBOT took Mrs. Botsford away, so Wordgirl saved her AGAIN and they opened ANOTHER workshop where Reginald, the jewelry store owner, put out some priceless My Little Pony figurines. Everyone wanted to get their hands on them, so someone did! WordGirl tried to figure out who stole the dolls, so she went to the scene of the crime and examined the evidence. But when they opened the door, Eileen put Commissioner Watson in jai l! (to Commissioner) Are you happy NOW?

Commissioner: No! I’m in jail.

Warden: And I for one cannot believe it! For shame, WordGirl! I once said to myself, “Warden, the day Commissioner goes to jail is the day you go on a field trip to Zachary Zany's Candy Factory!” Remember when I said that?

Commissioner: No.

Warden: Well, I did. Well, here goes…bye bye cruel world!

(He runs out the door to Becky's school for a field trip.)

Narrator: Meanwhile, Becky Botsford's classmates are in high spirits, because today they’re going on a field trip.

(Scene: Outside the school. The kids and the Warden are standing next to a bus, and their teacher Mr. Dudley is standing by the door of the bus with a clipboard.)

Mr. Dudley: Okay, let's settle down, class. I know you’re all excited to go to the city candy factory and meet Zachary Zany, the mastermind who invented so many of our favorite candies, but listen up for a second. We’re gonna use the buddy system. Everyone grab a partner...

(Kids grabs the hands of the ones next to them. The Warden and Violet are at the front of the line while Violet carries her white cat Fluffy, aka Priscilla.)

Warden: Want to be field trip buddies, Violet?

Violet: Uh, do unicorns have horns?

Warden: Well, some do, but really Pegasus is known as the--

Violet: I still wanna be buddies.

Warden: Me too!

(The scene cuts to a few seconds later, on the bus.)

Violet: I can’t believe we’re gonna meet Zachary Zany, the candy mastermind!

Warden: Me neither!

Violet: I think he’s gonna be awestruck when I tell him some of my great ideas. How about this? Gum… you can chew!

(The warden stares at her, not knowing what to say.)

Warden: I--

Violet: --Or cup-shaped chocolate, with peanut butter in the middle?

Warden: Yeah, I think they’ve already… got that covered…

(Suddenly Eileen, the Birthday Girl, jumps in between them.)

Eileen: I wanna be Violet’s buddy, and she wants to be mine!

Violet: Actually, the warden and I are already buddies.

Eileen: It’s my birthday, so I can have anything I want! And you’re MY buddy!

(She hugs Violet tightly.)

Violet: Okay…

Warden: Eileen, shame on you for breaking the buddy system-gist code! Violet wouldn’t do anything wrong in a million, billion, gazillion years.

Eileen: Objection, you don’t know that for sure!

Warden: Well, I suppose you’re right. But please, try and keep this interesting for me, I don’t want to be guilty of ruining a sweet little girl’s field trip!

Eileen: Okay! (smiling, to Violet) We’re gonna have so much fun, bestest buddy Violet!

(The bus starts moving. Near the back of the bus, Eileen is still holding onto Violet.)

Eileen: Would you say we’re best friends, or bestest WESTEST friends?

(Violet struggles to free herself.)

Violet: I’ll be right back. I have to ask Becky something…

Eileen: Oh no you don’t! (hugs her again) You’re not going anywhere! We’re gonna be buddies forever, and ever, and ever, and ever, and…

Narrator: Finally, the bus arrives at the candy factory.

(Scene: The front of the factory. The camera cuts back to show a view of the elaborate factory, with multi-colored smoke coming out of different smoke stacks, and a picture of Zachary Zany above the main door.)

Balloon Boy: Wow!

News Girl: Beautiful!

Tobey: (awkwardly smiling) Mmm-mmmm! creamy!

(Mr. Dudley steps off the bus and stares at the factory with a look of excitement.)

Mr. Dudley: It’s delicious! I don’t blame you for being awestruck, I mean, I too am completely filled with wonder and reverence. Now let’s keep it orderly, everyone, find your buddy and we’ll run, not walk, to the factory gate I might scoot ahead a little bit, ah, behind me I’m first, so everyone please walk behind me…

(The warden catches up to Mr. Dudley. Eileen drags Violet to the front of the line.)

Eileen: I’m first, I’m first! It’s my birthday and I’m first!

(She and Violet stop in front of a worker, wearing a pink outfit with a blue shirt underneath, and a pink and blue hard hat with goggles. Other workers in the factory are dressed the same. Mr. Dudley and the rest of the class come up behind them.)

Red Guy: (in a monotone voice) Welcome children. It is my distinct pleasure to present to you your host, a man who built this factory with nothing but a dream, and lots of money. He’s the inventory of the chocolate sandwich, the edible shoe, as well as Chew-poo, the chewing gum that’s also a shampoo. He’s candy mastermind, Zachary Zany.

(He blows a kazoo to signal Zachary’s entrance, and the doorknob behind him rattles but doesn’t open. There is the sound of keys rattling behind the door, and it finally opens. Zachary Zany stands before them. He has pink hair, blue glasses, a polka dot tie, and a pink shirt with blue overalls held up with blue suspenders.)

Zachary: Greetings, children. Let me ask you a question. What’s the secret to making great candy?

Lsa Loud: Candy making is both a science and an art. Getting the mixture just right can seem more like alchemy than chemistry for the uninitiated. I have had a few candy failures in my years of making candy for Christmas, and I’ve learned some tricks that can help you have success right from the start. So get ready to save this article for your future candy making projects and break free from the Food processors. While not exactly healthy, homemade candy can be a guilt free, seasonal treat for your family.

Zachary: (singing) You figured out my riddle, you answered really great, now go through my gate!

Everyone: Thanks, Chuck!

Zachary: My real name is Hubert Blaine Wolfeschlegelsteinhausenbergerdorff Sr.

Everyone: [awkwardly] Oh.

(Scene: A little later. The students (and the warden) are piled into a series of cars, similar to a amusement part ride, with Leslie and Zachary sitting at the front. They quickly move past different parts of the factory. Everyone seems to be fascinated by what they see.)

Zachary: Alright then, moving on… there’s something, and there...and there… and there quickly…and…

(The ride stops.)

Leslie: Behind that door is the Candy Imaginatrix Machine which can produce any kind of candy you can imagine, and as fast as you can imagine it.

(The students gasp.)

Warden: Outta my way, outta my way, I’M going in!

Eileen: Uh-oh, this could get ugly.

(A worker pulls up next to Zachary in another vehicle, and whispers something Latin to him, while Leslie awkwardly looks at Zany, confused.)

Zachary: I’ve just been informed by-- whoever that guy was, that we’re running short on time, so I’m afraid we’re going to have to skip ahead to the final and my least favorite stop of our tour, the free candy sample area.

Warden: Free sample area?! (gasping) Me first, me first, ME first!

Eileen: Hey, that's not fair!

Warden: Well, it's my birthday and I can't help it if you do it wrong!

(The scene shifts to another area of the factory. There are glass tubes filled with different colored pellets. Zachary and the kids walk up to some barrels in front of the tubes.)

Zachary: Okay, children, you’ll each get to select one variety of candy to try. I believe there was someone who may have mentioned something about possibly wanting to go first...

Warden: Oh, me me me me me! I want that one!

Zachary: Ah yes, my personal favorite.

(He shakes one piece of candy from a bag, and delivers it to Eileen.)

Phil: (to Victoria Best, Emma and Violet) Yikes, I’m awestruck at this guy’s cheapness! But hey, at least the Warden got to go first. Maybe he’ll be okay with that.

Warden: More!

Zachary: You’ve had quite enough, big baby.

Warden: For shame, Zachary Zany! I once said to myself, “Warden, the day WordGirl goes to jail is the day you eat Zachary Zany's candy,” and those samples are mine! Mine! MINE! '''MINE! ''MINE, MINE, MINE! '

(He starts to grow.)

Zachary: On the contrary, they’re mine! Mine! MINE! '''MINE! ''MINE, MINE, MINE! ' (He starts to grow.) And I have the paperwork to prove it!

(He looks down and sees that he's towering over everyone.)

Zachary: Uh oh...,

Eileen: Okay, this isn't too bad.

[a few minutes later...]

Warden: More candy, MORE CANDY, ALL mine! MIIIIIINNNNEEEEE!

Zachary: Uh, perhaps I wasn’t clear. It’s one sample each!

Narrator: Meanwhile, back in jail...

(Scene: Jail. Wordgirl is eating the Warden's hat while he's gone and then pats the commissioner's hat, then, she hears something.)

Wordgirl: (flies away) WORD UP!

(Scene: Candy Factory)

WordGirl: Alright, Warden, you heard the man! (whisper to Huggy) Even though you’d THINK a candy mastermind would be a little more generous!

(Warden traps WordGirl and Huggy inside a barrel.)

Warden: No, it’s my birthday, and my mommy says I can do WHATEVER I WAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTT!!!I'm

Eileen: Okay, now I'm confused.

WordGirl: But this is some OTHER class’s candy.

Warden: IT IS?

WordGirl: Yes. That means if you steal this candy, you’ll have 2021 candies, and some other girl will have NONE!

Warden: Uh, that’s not fair...

WordGirl: No, it’s NOT fair. So why don’t you give back the candy you’re eating?

Mrs. Botsford: Yes! Give back the candy.

(Warden makes a sad face, and opens up his hands. He then starts shrinking back to normal size.)

Warden: ...Okay....

Mrs. Botsford: WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

(WordGirl grabs Ms. Botsford, and lands on the ground with her next to Warden.)

Eileen: Wow! WordGirl, how did you know how to do that?

WordGirl: Because I know you! When you do something greedy, you grow bigger. But when you do something generous, she shrinks back to size.

Eileen: Well, I am impressed. You did a great job arguing your case. Where did you learn to be such a good lawyer?

WordGirl: Uh, let’s just say I picked it up from somebody I know.

Mrs. Botsford and Eileen: Okay!

(Huggy runs up behind them.)

WordGirl: You’re right, Huggy, we have to get back to high school and finish the dissection class! Word UP!

(She picks up Warden and her mother, leaving Huggy behind. He collapses on the pavement from exhaustion. Various other villains hide in the sewer.)

Narrator: Back at the city courthouse…

(WordGirl flies in with Mrs. Botsford and Warden, in front of the judge.)

Wordgirl: Here’s your doll and candy thief, judge!

Judge: WordGirl, I hereby declare that you are not guilty. Therefore, you are free to go back to fighting crime.

(He bangs his gavel. The observers along with Reginald [who has finally calmed down] cheer.)

WordGirl: Thanks, Judge.

Judge: No WordGirl, it is I who thank you. I really appreciate your help in--

(She flies off, and comes back carrying a large pile of TJs and Omega Mart Lemons, as well as Tim Botsford.)

WordGirl: Here you go, all done.

Judge: Whoa! You work fast!

Narrator: That’s all for this week’s episode. If you have no dissection class in high school, join us next time or you’ll be guilty of missing another exciting part of this episode of-- Wordgirl! And her fearless sidekick Captain Huggy Face.

(For the final scene, Eileen is jumping over the moon and lands in the Night Garden, surrounded by Hatsune Miku, Upsy Daisy, and the Kewpie Tarako babies.)